Matching 'Kundalis' for Gay Jodis - The Marketing Perspective

For ages parents went to the astrologers to match the kundali of their son or daughter with the kundali of the prospective bride or bride groom. When the kundalis matched, jubilation and celebration followed and in some cases when the kundalis didn’t match, the astrologers matched them by the revenue from under the table. There were some instances which came in the news that some mangliks were married to trees etc. All in all it was an easy, respectable and profitable job for most of the astrologers of the country.

Then came up a storm which was slowly brewing up in the Indian society; Section 377 or legalizing Gay marriages. Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code is a piece of legislation in India introduced during British rule of India that criminalizes sexual activity "against the order of nature." The section was read down to decriminalize same-sex behavior among consenting adults in a historic judgment by the High Court of Delhi on 2 July 2009. Section 377 continues to apply in the case of sex involving minors and coercive sex.

In the entire brouhaha, where some were fully buoyed and some others were up against in arms against the law, then there was a third kind…..Not exactly buoyed, not exactly against it but very confused – The Astrologers. The big question in their mind was what to do when two guys or two gals come to them to match their Kundalis?????

Matching Kundalis of Gay couples is totally a new market for the astrologers and we can bet our last penny on the fact that none of the astrologers would be aware of the Ansoff’s Matrix as to what strategy to be applied for carrying on an existing service in a new market. We are writing this article to help them in their hour of distress.

Well Market Development is the strategy that is to be used to market existing services in new markets. The strategies they could follow are as follows:

1) The first step in developing Market Development strategy would be to target the customers. What we feel is initially all the same sex couples would marry in courts, so the astrologers can set up exclusive small kiosks in the vicinity of those courts and put up their assistants and directly market their services to the same sex couples by offering them prices lower than what they would charge to a normal/straight couple. The astrologer who sets up his kiosk first would obviously have a first mover advantage and can be able to gain publicity and that would boost up his business.

2) A group of astrologers can come together and form an organization that would specialize matching gay kundalis and also in conducting gay marriages and they could name their organization as ‘Reverse Swing’ etc because in India everything associated with cricket sells.

3) This organization could also provide the gay couples with additional benefits like discounted referrals, which means that the other gay couple which they recommend to these astrologers would get a 15% off and the same 15% would be refunded to the initial couple. This chain could continue and prove beneficial to both the astrologer and his customers.

4) This organization can tie up with the Bombay Dost Magazine (India’s first gay magazine) and advertise their services through it. They can come up with an offer that if one person of the gay couple who want their kundalis matched is a subscriber of this magazine then he could avail those services for free. The astrologers in turn can take their commission from the magazine.

5) Another strategy would be that these astrologers can hire Pandits who would conduct the marriage of the gay couple and the gay couples who got their kundalis matches by these astrologers would again get a discount in the expenses of conducting their marriage.

6) This organization can rope in Celina Jaitley (the current champion of gay rights) as their brand ambassador so as to get in eyeballs and promote their organization.

Bane Chahe Dushman Zamaana Hamaara,
Salamat Rahe DOSTANA Hamara !!!

P.S: The above post is jointly written by me and my friend Pankhuri. We developed these strategies by working on an idea given to us by Prof. Sunil Pevekar in our Services Marketing class. We don’t know the feasibility of our strategies but we had a lot of fun in formulating them.

How I Snatched Defeat From The Jaws Of Victory.....

The title is absolutely apt. Yeah, today I actually snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. The setting was a table tennis doubles match in which I had partnered with my friend Rishabh Duseja.

We started on a positive note and were confident about our victory. The first set reinforced our belief as we won it quite convincingly. The second set also started on a positive note and we raced away to a 7-4 lead in a game of 11 points. It was a lead which we could have easily clung to and in the process pocket the match.

This is where I got over confident and started gifting points away. Though Rishabh reminded me to play my natural game but I was still experimenting thinking that the match was as good as over. My extra over confidence led to our downfall.

Our opponents slowly came from behind and in a stunning fashion won the second set 11-9. This victory put in more confidence in our opponents and put us into a shock which we found difficult to overcome.

With a new found zeal, our opponents started the match pretty well but Rishabh was upto their challenge and I was floundering and was messing up my serves. In the process our opponents raced to a 8-5 lead which we found difficult to overcome and ultimately lost the match despite playing better than our opponents for a major chunk of the game.

The difference between our victory and defeat was undoubtedly me. Because Rishabh was playing the best table tennis he ever played in his life and on the contrary I was playing my worst, which led to our defeat.

Through this blog I would like to apologize to my partner Rishabh for throwing the match away despite being in a position to win it.

Sach Ka Saamna, Duniya Ke Saamne

A couple of months ago I was watching an episode of 'The Moment Of Truth', a game show in which you are rewarded for telling the truth to all those embarassing questions pertaining to your life. And I was like 'Hell!!, this is one show that cannot be Indianized' and two months later I am in front of the TV watching 'Sach Ka Saamna', its Indian version and I must admit that I was wrong as the Indian version is as much rocking as the American version was.

The first contestant on the show, a lady in her 40s tore apart to smithereens the so called sabhyata, parampara, izzat etc. Is this the beginning of Indian modernization???, I thought. The way, the woman handled the questions with tact was awesome. Though there were questions that put her on a sticky wicket, but then she was as truthful as she could be or was it the lure of those millions she would be getting.

Have you ever thought of killing your husband??

This was the question that put her in a catch 22 situation and she honestly told that she would, but again who wouldn't???? Hehehehehe...

She stood her ground saying that alcoholism of her husband was the root cause of all the sufferings her married life had endured.

Then came the final question,

'Would you sleep with another man if your husband never found out?'

This was a question which she HAD to tell NO despite the fact that maybe she herself knew that the answer could be a YES. This is when I realized that we are still in India. Had she said yes, despite her millions, her married life would never had been the same with the seeds of suspicion already planted in their relationship.

She tried to lie, but the polygraphic test caught her bluff and she was booted out without a penny and now she will have to spend the rest of her life explaining that polygraphic test results are wrong.'

The second contestant was a 60+ year old buddha. After watching his episodes, I am reminded of a couplet which I had heard some years ago.

'Kaun kehta hai buddhon ko ishq nahin hota,
Ishq hota hai par kisi ko shak nahin hota'

It seemed that this guy had practically slept with everything that has a life. Be it his wives (he had three), girlfriend, girls younger than his daughter and even the prostitutes.....PHEW!!!

He too lost out trying to save his relationship with his daughter but the lure of money is bigger than anything else.

Well, this show has caught on the fancy of the Indian junta with everyone who I know getting hooked to this show and the TRPs of Star Plus exploding. But I feel it would not be long before the so called moral policing again comes up in arms against this serial and rob us of all the fun we get while watching it.

And finally a word or two on its host - Rajeev Khandelwal. I feel he is doing a decent job provided the main pull which the show generates is from the questions being asked and Rajeev is mainly the facilitator.

Overall a bold show, considering Indian standards.

Men Are Men and Women Are Women ALSO.....

A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, Romantic little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table.
She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.'

The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.'

The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II (World's biggest Cruise Ship - as large as four football fields) appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again...

I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me..'

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!..

The husband became 92 years old!!!

Come Bhakth (of) 'THE' KAREENA.......

This movie is for all the Bhakths of 'The' Kareena Kapoor. So it is an open invitation to them.....COME BHAKTHS (of) 'THE KAREENA'.

Today I had gone to see this film with my friends and Kareena Kapoor was the only motivation behind me watching an Akshay Kumar comedy and hell, I wasn't disappointed. She made be burst into peals of laughter and also squirm in my seat with embarrasment. But again as I mentioned, she is THE KAREENA.....

Admirable, Alluring, Angelic, Charming, Comely, Dazzling, Elegant, Stunning, Beauteous, Bewitching, Pulchristudinous..........The list is endless. But all these words will fall short in front of the amazing Kareena Kapoor.

She makes the film watchable and every time she is on the screen, the takes the film to another level and in the process taking your breath away. Such is her profound presence that she chews up the entire canvas and you can't help look at anything else but Kareena Kapoor.

Beauty with Brains is the apt phrase for her as her dialogue delivery and expressions are simply amazing. Just sample these dialogues;

'I will stop being a bitch the day you stop being a dog.'

'Men are interested in only one thing'

The sheer crudity of these dialogues is such that it would had simply fallen flat had it not been told with the elan in which Kareena Kapoor mouthed them. Everything about her in the movie was so perfect. Be it crass comedy or being a sexy siren to shedding those pearls which we otherwise call as tears, everything was done with sublime subtlety.

The movie begins on a high and steadily climbs up the ladder and reaches its zenith at the ending of the first half. The second half also starts off pretty well with the title song 'kambakth ishq' and afterwards its begins to tumble down the hill with the movie getting emotional and finally picks up a bit towards the climax but had it not been for the svelte Kareena Kapoor and a very strong first half, the film would have been a damp squid. But now its a watchable film if you leave your brains back home.

Oh yeah, there is also Akshay kumar in the film but he is completely overshadowed by Kareena Kapoor. But with the form that Kareena Kapoor was in, she would have overshadowed any damn actor (like Aamir Khan, Hrithik Roshan, Salman Khan etc) except THE SRK.

Overall I would rate the movie 3/5 and all those 3 points are for THE KAREENA KAPOOR.

CAUTION:- Never ask a girl for the review of this particular movie because half of the girls are jealous of THE KAREENA KAPOOR and the remaining half would not admit that they are jealous.

Its 'BLUE BELLS'

Yeah, it is the name of my new novel. 'BLUE BELLS'. As I had mentioned in my earlier post that I would be starting writing my second novel from my birthday i.e 1st of July and I have already begun writing it.

Here is a sneak peak into the main characters of my novel.

SURAJ SINGH: A meek guy born into a very rich family with an astounding legacy. At times his family legacy becomes his biggest enemy. He values his freedom and is very particular about his relationships, be it with his family or with his friends. One thing happens in his life and then circumstances go beyond his control. There are three women who were connected to his life Pooja Goel, Prerna Gupta and Saanjh Chauhan.

POOJA GOEL: First woman in Suraj's life.

PRERNA GUPTA: Second woman in Suraj's life.

SAANJH CHAUHAN: Third woman in Suraj's life who also happens to be his wife.

SAMIR - THE EUNUCH: A eunuch who is the mystery element in the novel.

SYNOPSIS:
Suraj and Saanjh are a happy married couple. But Suraj has some secrets in his life. The secret of Pooja and Prerna. Who actually were they and how was Suraj connected to them?

Can Suraj be able to keep his past and present separate or will his past decide his future???

Blue Bells is a riveting novel about love, lies, hate, betrayal, sacrifice that would stir your souls as it begins to unfold.

P.S: I have already written the ending climax of this novel and put it away in the closet. Right now I am penning the first chapter of this novel which begins with the marriage of Suraj and Saanjh.

I plan to complete this novel over a period of 6 months but I was working on it over the past one year to get all the nuances right before I actually start penning it down. The rough draft of this novel is ready and it has come out exactly as I had envisioned it to be.

Hopefully the final product will also be the same as I had envisioned it to be.