Redefine Your Thinking

1-Cigarette:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

2-Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.

3-Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

4-Compromise :
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

5-Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water power.

6-Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

7-Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

8-Etc:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

9-Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

10-Experience :
The name people give to their mistakes.

11-Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.

12-Diplomat:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

13-Opportunist:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

14-Optimist :
A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am not injured yet.

15-Pessimist:
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

16-Miser:
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

17-Father:
A banker provided by nature.

18-Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

19-Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

20-Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills .